The Surprise
Westwind Journal of the Arts/Spring 2023
Rebecca had not thought of surprises when she packed her bag. Her splayed-open suitcase lay hungry on the bed, accepting her most comfortable clothes: brown leather sandals, tee shirts, flowy floral skirts. She envisioned vacation Rebecca to be opposite of Pennsylvania Rebecca. Vacation Rebecca would be relaxed, unworried.
At work, she daydreamed of Will’s hand on her waist or at the back of her slightly sweaty neck. She pictured him tugging off her clothes, carrying her naked to bed. She would often lose her place while reading at story hour, stare at bookshelves instead of searching for the specific title she needed, and frequently retreat to the bathroom to splash cold water on her flushed face.
This was Will’s idea, a trip to celebrate their one year dating anniversary. Rebecca had never been anywhere, besides Philadelphia, the Jersey shore. Her parents withheld, she knew, their resistance. She’d only told them the bad things about Will, none of the good things. It was her fault that her parents did not like Will.
“It’s okay if he’s cheap, but not mean cheap,” her mother said after Rebecca shared a slight concern about Will’s stinginess.
“No, he’s never mean,” Rebecca lied.
***
Once at the airport, on the plane, in the taxi, things were not as smooth as Rebecca fantasized. Will had a migraine, a problem which could cause any number of altercations. He snapped at the luggage carousel, angry that Rebecca had missed his bag. He criticized her for over-tipping the bellhop at the hotel.
“I was a waitress once,” Rebecca said.
“That’s irrelevant,” he countered.
While Will slept off his headache, Rebecca went to the bar, scribbled a pro and con list on a napkin. She padded the pros with small things he did in the beginning, like when he spontaneously bought a bouquet of carnations at the supermarket when they stopped in for a six pack. That gesture withered at the other memories, like when he refused to pay for dinner, knowing she’d forgotten her wallet. Or when he left her in the train station alone at midnight. What about the time he asked her if she was embarrassed by her morning bed head? But each time he would apologize, tell her how much he loved her, beg her to forgive him, and each time she would acquiesce. Rebecca put down her pen, covering her eyes with both hands.
“Becca?” Will appeared beside her, stunning in a suit and tie. “Why are you crying?”
“I-I-I’m just so happy to be here,” she said.
“Good, because I’m about to make you happier,” he said, kneeling down on one knee. The other customers in the bar immediately shifted, creating a space around the couple. Rebecca, perched on her barstool, her heart pounding in her chest, beheld Will, whose upturned face shone in the manufactured light.
***
Rebecca rose from bed, this time leaving Will sleeping off his hangover. She thought of calling her parents to tell them their news, but decided later would be better, maybe at dinner, after a few drinks. She approached the closet, unenthusiastically surveyed the skirts lined up on the rack.
The ring Will gave her the night before sat unwieldy, out of proportion on her slender finger. The band constricted, grasped. She attempted to twist it off, but it refused her tugs and pulls.
Half-dressed, Rebecca sat on the bed. She told herself how beautiful, how special it was for Will to propose in this way, without giving the slightest hint, a total surprise. She imagined the story she would repeat to all her friends, coworkers, her parents. The band was too tight, but she knew it could easily be fixed, and nothing was ever perfect, anyway. She closed the door gently, leaving Will asleep.
The elevator descended to the breakfast bar. Rebecca leaned into the wall, closed her eyes, imagined Will waking, missing, searching, finding her. His smiling face would emerge from all the plain, boring ones. He’d approach her transformed, a shining presence, her life partner, her fiance.
