Veneration

Literaria Magazine/October 2023

Miranda thought her robed and hooded classmates lumbered like eggplants, hauling themselves in purple robes around the cloisters, carefully protecting flimsy candlelight. A few freshwomen wept, rain streaked window faces. She remembered the giddy fear of her first time, not knowing what would come next. Katelyn’s delicately clumsy hands shook for days afterwards.

The bell tower tolled and the procession stopped.
President Flowers entered, identified by her long strides.
“Let there be light in darkness!” she exclaimed. A plaintive soprano soared from the crowd, singing the College anthem.
Miranda’s feet throbbed, rammed into those damned thrift store black loafers, but the togetherness of this final Candle Night teased normally blocked emotions. Where would she be next year? Med school? Research? God forbid she ended up back in Pittshead working at Good Prices. She wished she could stay right here, held within Sandstone College’s dank stone walls. When the songs ended, President Flowers praised the students.
“Well done, scholars! Now, as is tradition, I ask our newest faculty member, Splendid Marchmant, Chemistry, to lead you in the recitation of our college poem, “Out of Darkened Cloisters Come.”
The crowd hushed. Miranda focused her busy mind, searching in the darkness for the figure of
Splendid Marchmant. Bingo! Miranda fell into instant fascination with the pale owlish face,
trembling voice, the golden dog laying at the professor’s feet.
A roar of shouts and hoots followed the reading.
“Thank you, Dr. Marchmant,” President Flowers said, “That concludes our opening Rite.
Remember to conduct your own Rites with the grace and dignity of our institution. Good
night, my shining stars.”
“Good night!” the students shouted joyfully, thundering out of the cloisters, like a pack
of dopey elephants, Miranda thought.

***

Splendid had a rough Monday morning with Stanley padding a crime scene of mud across the kitchen floor. She wasn’t a tidy person, but couldn’t leave that mess all day. She entered the science building late, harried and breathless, tugged forward by Stanly nosing his way inside. She almost missed her office door, unrecognizable from an over-abundance of adorning paper flowers. A slender note dangled from the knob.

36

An Ode to Splendid
You came from the north to grace us with charm
Your intelligence beams from your fingertips, powerful light
Your soft smile and voice
An echo we long for in a silent cave
We adore you from afar
Rites Week. She pulled the note from the knob, tucked it away, leaving the decorations. She glanced up and down the hall before heading to her lab, her happy place. Today, infrared spectroscopy.

***

The very next morning, Miranda and Katelyn were delighted by Dr. Splendid’s acceptance of their invitation to lunch at the Carlton Dining Center. They found a table in the back, covered it with a cloth borrowed from dining services, adding napkins, silverware, and a little vase of supermarket daisies.
“Can I pour you some tea, Dr. Splendid?” Katelyn asked, hovering.
“Yes, please. Boy, you two really went all out! And you’re both so busy! Miranda, you said
you’re an RA, and Katelyn on the equestrian team!” she said.
Miranda’s face heated in embarrassment, enjoying the weight of her loaded dorm key ring in her pocket.
“We have a wonderful vegetarian meal planned for you, Dr. Splendid” she said.
“Please, call me Dr. Marchmant.”
Miranda noted the teacher’s drifting eyes, vacant expression.
“How’d you get your first name?” Katelyn blurted while Miranda placed bowls of soup from a tray.
“It was my grandmother’s,” she said, providing no other details, no inspiring story.
The three buttered their rolls.
“Why the dog?” Miranda asked. She’d thought of this question in the middle of the night, jotting it down in a journal.
“Stanley’s a service dog,” she said, again not very illuminating.
When she wasn’t eating, Dr. Splendid’s mouth clamped shut in a tight line.
“We’d love to come to your house for dinner!” Katelyn practically shouted above the cafeteria din.
They had not discussed this earlier.
“Oh no. My place is a mess. No visitors!”
Miranda eyed Dr. Splendid, watching her gulp the tea, noting she barely touched the chocolate cake bought especially for here at the expensive bakery in town.

***

The unwarranted attention imposed by Miranda and Katelyn felt confusing, dangerous. Splendid wished the so-called Veneration Rite would end.
On the third day of Rites Week, the girls were waiting at her office, like the Queen’s guards.
The decorations sagged, drooped, some had detached and lay stepped-on in the hallway. The girls wanted to take Splendid on a nature walk through the Pierce Gardens.

“Have you been there yet? They’re lovely!” the scarier one, Miranda, said.
Splendid noted the vine tattoo creeping from Miranda’s sleeve.
“I have seen it. I run there. Look, ladies, I need to catch up today.” She twisted Stanly’s leash. The dog stood alert, panting at her side.
“How do you know we’re ladies?” Miranda smirked. “We’re women, but we might not be ladies.” Katelyn reached out a hand to pet Stanly. Splendid reflexively jerked the leash.
“My apologies. As I said, I’ve got-” A familiar tidal wave of panic rose in her chest to her throat. These are the kind of conversations she needed to avoid, she told herself. She had to be careful, very careful.
“The cohorts and their hosts must participate in all Rites Week activities. Willingly. It’s a rule,” Miranda said, Katelyn bobble-heading behind her.
Splendid peered into her office, longing to enter, her bag full of paperwork dug into her shoulder. She had an appointment with her new therapist later. She breathed in deeply, tamping down the growing fire of fear and rage.
“Of course, if you’re too busy. Of course we’ll leave you be,” Miranda said.
“Thanks. Yes. I think I’d like to take a break today.” Dampness grew under Splendid’s arms. “We understand,” Miranda said.

***

That night, they donned their Candle Night capes and met at the cloisters. Miranda unfolded a paper slipped from her pocket- a Prayer for Those Who Resist.
Oh Holy Athena, come to our aid!
Open closed minds and hearts

They lit their candles, cold breath visible between bent, hooded heads. They sang the college song:
Sandstone, Sandstone
Our hearts rise up to

Sandstone!
Katelyn wept at the end, her big body shaking.
“She. Just. Doesn’t. Get. It,” she choked, “The honor of our Veneration!”
Miranda chewed on a ragged cuticle. As much as she pitied Katelyn, her tears brought a rip of anger. Who did this Dr. Splendid this she was?
“No, she doesn’t get it,” Miranda said.

***

“No signs of forced entry. Wouldn’t your dog have heard them?” the sharp-nosed police woman said, glancing at Stanley asleep on the floor.
“My dog! I think they drugged him. He’s been sleeping for hours. And my dirty dishes I’d left are washed, stacked in a different place-over here! My shoes-look!-all lined up in that weird

way. Everything is neat. My sock drawer. My desk. I’m not neat.” “Maybe you cleaned while sleep walking?”
Splendid stood there silent, blinking. This did not compute. “You really think it’s these two students of yours?”

“They’re not my students but they’re Sandstone students. They’re venerating me for Rites Week.”
“So you want me to go wake these kids up on a Saturday morning. You want to get the college administration involved? The parents?”
Splendid closed her eyes, tried to breathe.
“No, no, I don’t want that. Forget it,” she said.
“That’s a good choice, mam,” the officer said, “Let me know if I can be of any more help. I hope your dog wakes up.”

***

The last day, Saturday, they left Dr. Splendid alone. Miranda told Katelyn to stay in her room.
“Do a workout or something,” she said, drumming her fingers on her desk. Every piece of laundry was folded, her bedspread as tight as a drum. She didn’t know what to do with herself other than stew. She could put the finishing touches on Katelyn’s philosophy paper, but lacked
the inspiration.
If everything had gone correctly, Dr. Splendid would be seated here, in the middle of Miranda’s restrained, orderly room, eating a hot Indian take out. Afterwards, they planned to take her up to
the roof to stargaze. It was supposed to be a perfect clear night, too. Such a pity to waste it.
Katelyn’s Grandma Edith’s china remained inside Miranda’s closet, wrapped in plastic,
breakable as bird bones. Beside it sat the bottle of fancy champagne Katelyn snuck from her
father’s wine cellar over Christmas break, just for Veneration. Now, everything was cancelled
because Dr. Splendid, Dr. Marchmant, ruined it.

***

Splendid found the silence of that Saturday unsettling. The house constricted, like tight clothes

after a big meal. She paced around the first floor, plopped down in her office chair where she dashed off an early morning email, trying to make amends with the girls. After that she tried to work, grading and planning the week’s labs, distracted by the constant urge to check for a reply in her in box. She called Charity, considered sharing her woes, but found only voicemail. Splendid imagined her sister’s voice. “Remember how lucky you were last time? Those - what did they call them?- Microaggressions? Your Chair was very generous giving you the reference for Sandstone. And with your history, your diagnosis, you do not want to lose this job, right?” “But I thought I was being supportive! It was just an emoji!” Splendid imagined her defense. She had no appetite. Her hands shook as she held a glass of water to her lips. Running in the Pierce Gardens she half expected one or both of the girls to pop out, trip her.

Perhaps if she told them she had autism, maybe they’d forgive her? Before bed, she
began another message, clicking away on her keyboard, but she pressed the delete button, gobbling up the stream of words. Too desperate. She couldn’t hand over all her power, all the strength she’d worked so hard to build. Instead, in another message, she took on a new, robotic tone, adopting Miranda’s formal speech.
I regret not accompanying you on our walk. I have prepared for the final night of your
Veneration. I am so grateful for your attention. You have made my first year at Sandstone so, so
special.
Tossing and turning, clutching her sheets, fearing every shadow, every house settling sound, Splendid held onto Stanley, sinking her face into his fur. “Things will be better in the morning,” she whispered, all night long.

***

That same night, Miranda posted on Instagram a different email from Dr. Splendid, one in which

she called the girls parasites, stalkers, pathetic children.
“How can I politely say this?” the email read, “Fuck off.”
“That should do the trick,” Miranda said, whispering to herself as she made final evening rounds
of her dorm’s floor.
Everyone keeps secrets at Sandstone. Katelyn keeps my secret that I’m poor and smart and that I
went to a Christian school. I keep Katelyn’s secret that she’s filthy rich, but very stupid.
Together we will keep the secret that we know how and why Dr. Splendid will lose her job at
Sandstone. That we caused it. And Dr. Splendid will keep our secret that she knows what we did.
These are the rules to be followed.
She chanted this like a prayer, walking in quick steps back to her own room.
The next grey morning they headed to Marsh farm, the final stop in Dr. Splendid’s Veneration
Week, and where Katelyn boarded her horse Sprinkles. They planned to crown Dr. Splendid and have her ride around the barnyard, cape flowing, regal, a queen. Instead, Miranda
and Katelyn sat shivering at an old wooden picnic table eating peanut butter sandwiches. They
took turns wearing the royal wardrobe. Katelyn, crown askew atop her curly head, rode
Sprinkles in circles like an overgrown child. Miranda, not-into-animals, did not. Then they
drank the champagne in plastic flutes and drunkenly threw the roses they’d bought for Dr.
Splendid at each other. One of the thorns scratched Katelyn’s face, a red tear of blood trickled
down her cheek. Miranda laughed, but Katelyn didn’t seem to mind.

***

Splendid finished her probation and sensitivity training by May and followed her chair’s instructions to attend graduation. As she processed with faculty through campus to the outdoor stage, she banished the worry of Miranda and Katelyn’s trailing eyes. She stood straight, gripped Stanly’s leash, forced a proud smile on her lips, happy to disappear into a sea of regalia. When each of the girls crossed the stage to receive their diplomas, she straightened her shoulders and clapped enthusiastically, just in case someone was watching.
Afterwards, she leaned into a pillow of relief. Now, she could begin yet again, start fresh. She and Stanly ambled along the shaded path under the century old oaks, his leash slack, loose in her hand. They exited campus, reveling in dappled light.
At the college’s main gate, they saw her, Miranda. A low growl formed in Stanly’s throat. Splendid stopped, locking breath in her chest. Miranda appeared like a bent branch, small
beside the imposing stone arches, a few boxes and suitcases at her feet. A puttering sedan approached. Miranda loaded her things in its trunk, opened the passenger door, got in. The engine gunned and peeled away. Splendid watched Miranda and the car disappear in a cloud of rumbling exhaust, a bad witch melting, soon forgotten, soon replaced.